When a fat guy's sweaty skin presses against couch fabric for an extended period of time, the fabric fibers fuse together with the skin. Hi, I'm Oliver Platt, and I'm currently fused to this chair. It's from Ethan Allen, if I'm not mistaken. I got to touch another guy's hand to celebrate. Peter, come out here and high five us over the sex someone else had. That's a bigger deal than regular garbage. Okay, well if you don't get up, I won't have sex with you. I got a thousand dollar credit from Uber Eats 'cause that driver pinched my bottom. One of the neighbors called about a passive-aggressive domestic dispute. Well, in return, you'll get a lot of beaten-down husband eye-rolls. Well, just expect me to do a lot of sour-faced, arms-folded head shaking. One of the shows is actually two boobs fighting. It's a free premium channel preview weekend. I hope you don't plan on just lying on the couch and watching TV all weekend. TV NARRATOR: We now return to a 1980s movie you remember fondly, but now feels excruciatingly slow. ♪ Birthday party, cheesecake, jelly bean, boom. ♪ Lock him in uniform and book burning, bloodletting ♪ ♪ Slash and burn, return, listen to yourself churn ♪ ♪ Six o'clock, TV hours, don't get caught in foreign tower ♪ I just wish we were doing songs that weren't so hard to sing as a group. For what?Ĭhris's class is performing a rock and roll choir. ♪ Lucky there's a man who positively can do ♪ ♪ But where are those good old-fashioned values ♪
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